Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Weekend with Bill and Family

My brother, mother, and myself were welcomed with open arms late Friday night at Arlene's house in Claremont from San Francisco.

When we got to Bill's room on Saturday at about 11 am with Abby, he'd just returned from dialysis and was heavily drugged up on opiate painkillers. He had a hard time staying awake -- I hear that dialysis is exhausting -- and the medications weren't exactly stimulating his perception. Abby assured us that this state was not the norm, and perhaps we should give him some time to rest. We went for tacos, delicious delicious tacos.

When we returned about an hour and a half later, hospital staff had placed him in his chair. The chair is part of the rehab process, and if he can consistently stay in the chair for 3 consecutive hours it'll be a sign that he's ready to move out of the hospital. That said, it's very painful for Bill to sit in the chair: he's not a fan. He wanted to get back into his bed almost immediately, but the nurse asked us to stall him so he could get his full 3 hours in. We played Weird Al songs and danced for him; he loves the Michael Jackson spoof "Eat It!" Still, the fact that he is vociferously complaining about the chair and demanding to be placed back in bed is a good sign that he's got plenty of fight in him.

Also, he was very much aware and bright-eyed when we returned from our taco run. He even tried to trick us into letting him eat some chocolates! He was telling us about his infamous cousin "Cuz" who tried to kill him several times with an axe as a child -- always with the dark humor. Speaking of which, Bill seems to have retained a great sense of humor, though it often veered into the realm of death and murder ("just shoot him" is something we heard often without much indication of whom we were supposed to shoot), which we tried to redirect as best we could. Nurse Ratchet was also a frequent subject of conversation.

One of Bill's former students, Aya, arrived all the way from Japan to visit him (wow!). Bill was so excited to see Aya and just perked right up when he heard that she had arrived. We went for a walk to give them some time to visit. When we got back, Aya was on her way out and Bill was still in the chair but not complaining about it at all.

Kris called and dropped off the girls -- Sophi and Olivia -- for a visit. They are a delight. As soon as the girls entered Bill's room, any pain drained from his face and he was engaging and aware. Bill asked Fitz (my brother) about his current art projects, and Fitz showed him some of his work that is online on his phone. Bill was engaged with Fitz and conscious of and impressed with what he was looking at. This was the most aware and with-it that we'd seen Bill so far. Meanwhile, Sophi and Olivia were busily jumping on Bill's automatically-adjusting hospital bed and watching as it reinflated after they'd depressed part of it with their bouncing.

The girls were getting a little cabin fever, so we got them excited to run out to a patch of grass in a park that you can see from Bill's room so we could wave to him. We ran out to the park (by the Hollyhock House), up several flights of stairs, and waved vigorously toward Bill's window. After rolling down the hill and playing "horse-y" for what seemed like more-than-enough time, we brought the girls back to the hospital all tuckered out. Bill was asleep in bed by then, and when we woke him up he promised that he could in fact see us waving from the park. "I could see Abby's flashing smile."

Sunday morning, we came back to the hospital for a short visit before Fitz, our mom, and I hit the road north. We were a little worried that he wouldn't be very lucid for our last visit, but much to our delight, he was just as present as he'd been the day before when the girls arrived. We talked and joked and told stories that he definitely remembered. He told me that Pomona made a big mistake by rejecting me from undergrad: ha!

I'm now realizing that I've not described Abby's deep devotion to and assistances small and large for Bill. It was truly incredible to watch her as she checked all of his wires and cords and helped him eat his ice chips. Incredible. She has educated herself on his medications and is vigilant about his reactions to them -- she's going to speak to his main physician about overloading on the opiates that are making him too tired and too confused, but she's aware of balancing those needs with the fact that his feet are intensely painful. It is touching to see how she has arranged her life to be there for Bill, and that she seems truly to appreciate the time she gets to spend with him. She plays air guitar and dances and sings for him. I'm proud that she's my cousin.

- William Ryland, nephew.

3 comments:

  1. I really like this post. But I also want to know where to get the great tacos. When I visited, I ate in the hospital caf, not so good. (Bill P.)

    ReplyDelete
  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  3. It's called Tacos Delta, and it's a little bit of a walk down Sunset. Just a small shack of a place but really tasty.
    -William R.

    ReplyDelete