SRF Donation Info

For anyone who might like to make donations in Bill’s memory, here is the contact information for the Scleroderma Research Foundation (www.srfcure.org):  

Online donations: https://www.srfcure.org/donate?view=donation

In memory of William P. Banks, Ph.D.

Address for acknowledgment:

230 W. 11^th Street, Claremont, CA 91711

Phone donations: 1-800-441-2873, 9:00 am to 5:00 pm Pacific Standard Time

Checks:                       Scleroderma Research Foundation

                                   

220 Montgomery Street, Suite 1411

                                    San Francisco, CA  94104

The site also explains its “Cure Crew” Program for those who prefer to donate time.

Bill’s family is also considering a campus memorial for him (perhaps something like a bench, sculpture, or tree), but information on that will come later.

Best regards to all,

Janet

Since hearing of Bill's death, I have been struggling to write a remembrance, because I simply don't have the words to express the depth of my sadness knowing that Bill is gone, or the depth of my appreciation for everything that Bill did for me, and for all of his students, during his too-short lifetime.

I have been thinking a lot about Bill lately, and especially today because it is both his birthday and the first day of the annual Vision Sciences Society conference. I am only here at this meeting today because Bill was such a terrific role model, teacher, supervisor, collaborator and mentor during my time at Pomona. Having now had more undergraduate and graduate students of my own than I can remember, I appreciate even more the dedication Bill had to guiding his students through their programs, letting them make their own mistakes, cheering them on when they found success, and helping them find their own voice. Without Bill's support, I would never have done a vision research project during my semester abroad in London; I would never have had the opportunity to work with Bill and one of his graduate students, Robert Lunn, to complete a publishable (but, alas, still unpublished) thesis; I would never have gone to Berkeley to do my PhD in vision science; and I certainly never would have ended up as a Professor, teaching in the very same field that I learned from Bill.

Bill taught me science, but he also taught me the importance of work/life balance -- he loved his work, he loved his students, he loved Pomona, but most of all, he loved his kids. His office was beautifully chaotic -- artwork from his children hanging every which where from the ceiling, and he was always proud to show off the latest masterpiece. He had a sign that summed it all up: "A neat desk is a sign of a sick mind."  It was clear that Bill's mind was anything but sick, so I've taken heart that perhaps my own messy desk may be a good thing after all. The chaos was an illusion in any case - any time Bill needed to find something, he knew exactly in which pile to look, and the practice he had in piecing things together in real life was mirrored in his academic life:  he was better than anyone at taking in what seemed to be a mess of disjointed, complex information, and synthesizing it to come up with novel approaches to age-old questions.

But Bill was also incredibly modest. He accomplished an extraordinary amount in his own research career, developing new paradigms and helping foster new scientific fields of inquiry, and all of that compounded through the tremendously positive impact he had on the lives of so many students. But he never rested on his laurels, and he always encouraged his students and colleagues to try to go that extra step.

At 12:01 this morning, Facebook prompted me that it was William Banks' birthday. With tears in my eyes, I visited his page, and saw my birthday greeting from last year, and his response. Around this same time last year,  I had been invited to give the annual public lecture at the Vision Sciences Society, talking about my research on vision and the amazing, changing, aging brain. Bill's response to my birthday greeting was, "Thanks for the birthday message. Pretty soon I'll be old enough to be one of your subjects. I circulated the announcement of your VSS talk in the department. Very good! I'm sorry now that I decided not to go this year. Thanks also for taking the time when you are getting ready for the talk and all. All the best, Bill." Nearly a quarter of a century after I'd left Pomona, Bill was still cheering me on. He took so much pride in his students' successes, but he must have known that we could never have succeeded without him, and our greatest pride is in having had the chance to be inspired, mentored and guided by him. I wish he could have lived to be old enough to be one of my subjects. And I wish we could have seen him this year at VSS -- there is a tremendous hole at the meeting today. But rather than spend the day wishing for things that could not be, I spent the day remembering Bill, and celebrating his life, because, more than anything, Bill always celebrated life.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Allison B. Sekuler, Ph.D.
Professor and Canada Research Chair in Cognitive Neuroscience, Department of Psychology, Neuroscience & Behaviour (PNB)
Associate Vice-President and Dean (Graduate Studies), McMaster University

Founding of the Scientific Study of Consciousness

I knew Bill for many years from a distance as a colleague in psychophysics, and more closely as a founder of the Association for Scientific Study of Consciousness, on a lawn at the Pomona campus. Part of Bill's lasting legacy is surely the journal he co-founded, Consciousness and Cognition. When I joined the journal as an associate editor, he guided me through the editorial process with patience and wisdom. When Bill became ill I was honored to get his nod to take his place as editor-in-chief.  Every time I open the Elsevier website for the journal I think of Bill, who started the journal from nothing and made it prominent. Editing becomes an act of homage to Bill and his accomplishments, one that I execute with pleasure.

Following the Bill Banks blog daily for months was a searing experience - it could happen to any of us, regardless of talents, motivations, or potential future contributions. He never lost his optimism or his quirky humor.

regards,

Bruce Bridgeman

Research Professor of Psychology

Remembrance

I am deeply saddened by the news of Bill’s passing. The last time I saw him was in Boston in late 2009, at Psychonomics, and at that time he appeared perfectly healthy. The news of his passing was unexpected as I was completely unaware that he had been ill. My condolences go to his family and to others who loved him and knew him well.

As a graduate student, I was first a student and later a TA for Bill’s Perception and Cognition course. Bill was also on my dissertation committee and we published two articles together, one on signal detection theory and memory, another on the teaching effectiveness of his well-known camera obscura class demonstration.

What I admired most about Bill were his qualities of playfulness and curiosity. His sense of playfulness was evident in his inimitable wit and wacky sense of humor (for a while, his email signature read “William Banks, Professor of Aerobics and Evil”). However, he also loved to play with ideas - seemingly for the sheer enjoyment of the process. His sense of curiosity and wonder about the world around him was exciting and infectious, and my interest in all manner of things ranging from lateral inhibition to opera was piqued through my interactions with him. Of course I also learned a great deal about cognitive psychology from Bill and I still remember all kinds of interesting little facts from him that represented the products of his curiosity: Birdsong is lateralized, taking magic mushrooms increases the critical flicker fusion threshold, and that a famous composer, I think Rimsky-Korsakoff, had tinnitus later in life (and it was a high E-flat). I had always meant to catch up with Bill about these little tidbits (maybe it was Shostakovich who had the tinnitus?). I had also considered sitting in on his class one more time just to watch him teach, and to spontaneously disappear into that closet in the corner, hear him make all sorts of racket as he searched for the perfect demonstration, and then pull out that demonstration and then just amaze the students. Alas, those plans will have to remain unfulfilled.

Bill brought life, color, and humor to my graduate school experience, and he made a significant and lasting impression on me in the kind of educator, scientist, and person that I am today. Bill, whereever you are, thank you for all you have done for your students, and for me. You are deeply missed.

Matthew Prull

----

Matthew Prull
Associate Professor

Remembrance

Here are some e mails that I recently received from former graduate students.
If you would like remembrances posted, e mail wprinz@berkeley.edu (Bill Prinzmetal)
-------------------------------------------------------------
I am so sorry to hear this. Bill was a mentor, employer (NIAAA grant) dissertation committee member and a friend.

We did work together on the development of tolerance to alcohol. He creatively applied his knowledge of sensation and perception to a person's sense of intoxication and came up with a methodology for measuring sense of intoxication. We published an article together with Roger Vogler in the Journal of Alcohol Studies in 1982.

Bill was fun and easy to be around--it was a joy to watch his mind at work. I remember many stimulating sessions with Roger and he, figuring out what our next experiment was going to be.

And his office--was a work of art--as we all said--Bill's order was in his mind, not his office.

I will miss him.
Roger Benton

-------------------------------------------------------------
Bill was on my oral exam committee. He was a great mentor and role model. I remember meeting him for the first time when I visited Claremont after I was accepted into the Doctoral program. As I found a narrow path through his office he commented that an organized office was a sign of a deranged mind. After taking a couple of classes from him, I discovered that his mind was not only organized but brilliant. As a tribute to Bill, my office looks a lot like his did at our first meeting. What a loss to the profession. I join all of you in celebrating his life and career and mourn with you his passing.

Gerald E. Evans, Ph.D.
Professor of Management and
Information System

-------------------------------------------------------------

Bill Banks came to Pomona College when I was a Ph.D. student at CGS. A small group of doctoral students and I approached him, asking if he would teach an overload, which for us was a small weekly seminar on Perception. He did. We learned. And rigor and truth be told, he made us read the original Tanner and Sweats, Signal Detection Theory, which is not exactly easy stuff! We learned nevertheless, and that was his gift to us.

Ray Paloutzian

-------------------------------------------------------------

Bill was the chair of my dissertation committee, my mentor and my friend.  He was a lot of fun too. His sense of humor was fabulous. I can hear him laughing now with that wonderfully infectious laugh of his.

There seemed to be no limit to his creativity and curiosity. I was in the Cognitive program, and I loved to watch how Bill worked problems. I think one of the most important lesions I took away from Bill was that the essence of science was to first discover the important questions. I wish I had the chance to tell Bill how much he meant to me. His loss is deeply felt.

Robert J. Lunn, Ph.D.

Donations

If you would like to make a donation in Bill's name, please donate to the Scleroderma Research Foundation (founded by Pitzer alums ).

Car pool to memorial service on 5/7

I want to encourage people to carpool to Claremont. Let me know if you need a ride or can drive. I will see if I can get you in touch with others wanting to do the same.

Kris

Photos of Bill

I would like to put together a slide show of pictures of Bill. Could you scan and send me picture (wprinz@berkeley.edu).

The more the better. If you know the approximate date when the picture was taken, that would be good too

Details of Memorial Service

Friends,

So Bill's memorial service will be hosted by Pomona College. Here are details:

Date: May 7th, 2011

Time: 3pm

Place: Bridges Hall of Music (Little Bridges)
150 East Fourth Street
Claremont

Reception: Immediately after memorial service in Carolyn Lyon Garden, on the west side
of Little Bridges.

Parking: Throughout the campus and along College Avenue.

Hope you can make it. If not, we know you will be present in spirit.

Kris

I'm saddened to have to say goodbye so soon.
It was an honor and a privilege to have had Bill as a mentor, a guiding light, an "academic father," and more importantly, a friend.

As you know, Bill always had a passion for the arts and sciences. Among many things, he was very involved in the installation of the Turrell's SkySpace at Pomona - an artistic structure crafted based on the science of light. The brightest star shining through the SkySpace will now and always remind me of Bill.

Eve

Andrea here.  I was in LA for a week to see Bill and was glad that I could spent some time with him in his last days.  Even in the dreadful state, Bill was still as sweet as ever and his lust for life was strong till the last minute.  In his most 'present' moments (he would dose off from time to time due to medication or exhaustion), he would even crack jokes and blow kisses.  I seldom see patients in severe conditions showing such liveliness, but Bill definitely retained much of his witty, lively and crazy fun self despite the physical challenge.

Bill will always remain my inspiration of living life to the fullest.  The incredible love that surrounds him, which is the best testimonial for the love and grace he has given all of us, shall resound and lead us to our reunion in another dimension.

A huge thanks to Abby and Kris, who have handled this difficult journey so well and made sure that Bill's last wishes were fulfilled.  My prayers and thoughts are with you, always.

Memorial Page -

Pomona College has set up a memorial page, and it's live.  Please send your thoughts and memories to:
communications@pomona.edu and they will post to the site.  Here's the site address:
http://www.pomona.edu/administration/communications/special-features/william-banks/memorial.aspx

William Banks, Edwin F. and Margaret Hahn Professor of Psychology
William “Bill” Banks, a member of the Pomona College faculty for 42 years, died in Los Angeles on April 25, 2011. The cause was scleroderma.

As a professor and mentor at Pomona, Banks influenced hundreds of lives. He arrived at Pomona College in 1969, soon after earning his Ph.D. from Johns Hopkins University, and quickly became a popular professor, known for his quirky sense of humor, his colorful class demonstrations of cognitive phenomena and his dedication to his students. His courses included Perception and Cognition, the Psychology of Evil, Seminar in Consciousness and Cognition and, since 1986, Intermediate Aerobics. He also taught first-year seminars that drew so many students that it was difficult to accommodate them all.

In 1978 and again in 2002, Banks received the Pomona College Wig Distinguished Professorship award, the highest honor bestowed on faculty. On receiving the second award, Banks likened his teaching style to a form of show business, making his lectures enjoyable and hands-on to encourage his students to “think, talk and create.” He served as chair of the Psychology Department from 1977 to 1990 and again from 2001 to 2004.

In his research, Banks investigated the nature of human perception and the role of consciousness in cognition. His research publications helped launch the field of the scientific study of consciousness, which has become a burgeoning research area in cognitive science.

Among his many professional achievements, Banks is considered a founding father of the field of consciousness and cognition. He was a founding co-editor of the journal Consciousness and Cognition in 1990, serving as editor-in-chief since 2005. He was also editor-in-chief of the Elsevier Encyclopedia of Consciousness. A founding member of the Association for the Scientific Study of Consciousness in 1994, he served as the main organizer of the ASSC’s first conference, which was so successful that it is considered to have firmly launched both the organization and the field. The conference is now in its 15th year and rotates between North America, Asia and Europe.

Among his broad research interests, Banks investigated cultural variables in cognition. One study focused on the differences between Western and Confucian-influenced societies in areas such as determining blame for actions and defining personal boundaries. He was particularly interested in why people can do evil to others, examining events such as the Nazi holocaust, the massacres in Rwanda and ethnic cleansings in areas ranging from the American West to Yugoslavia.

Banks has authored more than 100 research articles and served as an editor for several professional journals. His work has been supported by the Fetzer Foundation, the Ford Foundation, the Irvine Foundation, the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, the National Institute for Mental Health, the National Science Foundation and the Sloan Foundation.

Originally from Madison, Virginia, Banks earned his B.A., cum laude, from St. John’s College in Annapolis, Maryland, and later earned both his M.A. and his Ph.D. from Johns Hopkins University.

Banks is survived by his children Abigail Banks, Joshua Banks, Sophie Banks and Olivia Banks, and his sister Betsy Ryland. As soon as information is available on a memorial, that information will be posted to the College website.

Pomona College obituary on Bill

Pomona College website is posting a memorial page for Bill Banks where people can post comments and memories. Read below for details. Also included is an obituary sent out to Pomona College community.

_______________________________________
From: Laura Tiffany [Laura.Tiffany@pomona.edu]
Sent: Wednesday, April 27, 2011 11:51 AM
To: Staff
Subject: Re: Professor William Banks

Dear Colleagues,

The Memorial page is now live. Please send your thoughts and memories to communications@pomona.edu and we will post them on the site.

http://www.pomona.edu/administration/communications/special-features/william-banks/memorial.aspx

Thank you,
Laura Tiffany
Web Editor


On 4/27/11 10:37 AM, "Cecilia Conrad" wrote:

DATE: April 27, 2011
TO: The Pomona College Community
FROM: Cecilia A. Conrad
RE: Professor William Banks

I am forwarding an obituary for our colleague and friend Bill Banks, who died Monday. The obituary will be posted on the College website, and a memorial webpage will be available later today for people to post their thoughts and memories about him.



William Banks, Edwin F. and Margaret Hahn Professor of Psychology

William “Bill” Banks, a member of the Pomona College faculty for 42 years, died in Los Angeles on April 25, 2011. The cause was scleroderma.

As a professor and mentor at Pomona, Banks influenced hundreds of lives. He arrived at Pomona College in 1969, soon after earning his Ph.D. from Johns Hopkins University, and quickly became a popular professor, known for his quirky sense of humor, his colorful class demonstrations of cognitive phenomena and his dedication to his students. His courses included Perception and Cognition, the Psychology of Evil, Seminar in Consciousness and Cognition and, since 1986, Intermediate Aerobics. He also taught first-year seminars that drew so many students that it was difficult to accommodate them all.

In 1978 and again in 2002, Banks received the Pomona College Wig Distinguished Professorship award, the highest honor bestowed on faculty. On receiving the second award, Banks likened his teaching style to a form of show business, making his lectures enjoyable and hands-on to encourage his students to “think, talk and create.” He served as chair of the Psychology Department from 1977 to 1990 and again from 2001 to 2004.

In his research, Banks investigated the nature of human perception and the role of consciousness in cognition. His research publications helped launch the field of the scientific study of consciousness, which has become a burgeoning research area in cognitive science.

Among his many professional achievements, Banks is considered a founding father of the field of consciousness and cognition. He was a founding co-editor of the journal Consciousness and Cognition in 1990, serving as editor-in-chief since 2005. He was also editor-in-chief of the Elsevier Encyclopedia of Consciousness. A founding member of the Association for the Scientific Study of Consciousness in 1994, he served as the main organizer of the ASSC’s first conference, which was so successful that it is considered to have firmly launched both the organization and the field. The conference is now in its 15th year and rotates between North America, Asia and Europe.

Among his broad research interests, Banks investigated cultural variables in cognition. One study focused on the differences between Western and Confucian-influenced societies in areas such as determining blame for actions and defining personal boundaries. He was particularly interested in why people can do evil to others, examining events such as the Nazi holocaust, the massacres in Rwanda and ethnic cleansings in areas ranging from the American West to Yugoslavia.

Banks has authored more than 100 research articles and served as an editor for several professional journals. His work has been supported by the Fetzer Foundation, the Ford Foundation, the Irvine Foundation, the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, the National Institute for Mental Health, the National Science Foundation and the Sloan Foundation.

Originally from Madison, Virginia, Banks earned his B.A., cum laude, from St. John’s College in Annapolis, Maryland, and later earned both his M.A. and his Ph.D. from Johns Hopkins University.

Banks is survived by his children Abigail Banks, Joshua Banks, Sophie Banks and Olivia Banks, and his sister Betsy Ryland. As soon as information is available on a memorial, that information will be posted to the College website.






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Assistant Director of Communications, Web Editor Pomona College http://www.pomona.edu

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SAVE THE DATE: MAY 7TH

Hi, everyone,

We are talking to Pomona College about a memorial for Bill. It looks like May 7th is what we are looking at. This isn't set in stone yet, but if it works out logistically with Pomona College, we will probably finalize it. It happens to be a day after Bill's 69th Birthday. We do not know what time it would be yet. Will post details as soon as we find out more..

Kris

Sympathies

I first want to express my heartfelt sympathies to Mr. Banks's family and friends, especially Bill Prinzmetal, on the Bill's death.  I know also that there are many other friends, colleagues, and students who are deeply saddened by this sorrowful news.  This is a great loss to all of us. 

Mr. Banks, as I always referred to him when I was his student working on the semantic congruity effect, was a tremendous "major professor" to work under because of his intelligence, curiosity, intensity, and energy.  I have been flooded with fond memories of our days working together and of taking classes from him.  I remembered the different colored socks, pulling bread crusts out of his jacket pocket during class and nibbling on them, sticking pencils in his office ceiling with a quick upward toss.  I also remembered his humor, his gum chewing, and his concern over the food he ate.  Many memories flooded my mind.  In recent years I looked forward to seeing him at Psychonomics.  Indeed, the last time I saw him was at Psychonomics in Boston where I attended his "free won't" presentation.  It was fascinating stuff, as usual. 

I am certain that his loss is felt far and wide.  He was a most interesting man. 

Bill Sturgill

Send comments

From Arlene.  Thanks to all who have been following Bill's story.  Today's been a hard day.  We are sad, tired, but thankful that Bill's suffering is over. He fought this relentless disease with all he had.

 Several people told me today that their computers just wouldn't let them access the blog to post or to comment. If you would like to share a thought on this blog, please send it to me (plannerlene@yahoo.com) or to Abigail (abbybanksisalive@gmail.com) and we will post it.

From Liz Deese

From Liz Deese---

I am saddened by this news.  I have read some of the blogs on and off.  What really stands out is Bill's enduring sense of humor;  even in the midst of such profound suffering, there were sparks of Bill's delightfully quirky, ironic humor. 

I recall the many family-and-friends (Deese-Rothe, Barnes, Banks) Thanksgiving gatherings in Claremont from so many, many years ago, and always, Bill provided much fodder for laughter, either with his wildly funny (and often profound) observations and commentary or with his antics.

Embedded in Bill's humor was a broad-reaching understanding--- intelligent and deep.

And I still remember his fried green tomatoes he made every year, and the salad dressing he concocted when he was going through his "Lecethin" phase.  

It is a gift indeed when someone dies and leaves all those who knew him smiling. 

(Note from Arlene. Bill knew Liz from the time she was a young teen and he was one of her father's psych graduate students at Johns Hopkins, 1964-68. Later Liz attended Pomona, and she and her Claremont family spent much time together with our family.)

Bill passed away on 4/25 10pm

Hi, everyone,

So Abby and I received the dreaded phone call from the doctors late last night. Bill's heart rate flatlined again and they did not resuscitate him per his/our instructions. Abby, Arlene, and I arrived at the hospital as soon as we heard the news and spent several hours by Bill's side before seeing him off.

At this point we are just trying to let as many people who knew Bill as possible. We are making a list of things we have to do.

Thank you so much for being a part of the community of care for Bill. It has been an enormous comfort for me.

Kris

Bill died last night in the hospital.
Until his recent illness, he was such a strong source of energy, a life force. In my mind he will be forever young, and creative, and funny, and so much more.

Bill's 69th Birthday is May 6

Hi, everyone,

Bill's birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks and we hope to celebrate it at the hospital (or at the nursing home). My mother's idea of bringing him a cake was nixed as sadistic since Bill can't eat any of it (and he's been craving food). Abby thought balloons and cards would be great. We will definitely sing him a song. Sophie and Olivia said they'd like to bring him a present. When I asked them what they had in mind, Sophie said, without hesitation, "Medicine". She really wants him to get better...

Any other ideas about Bill's birthday? Since it falls on a Friday, we will have a gathering in his room in the evening. Anyone who could join us would be welcome! Late April and May is a busy time for Banks family with lots of birthdays, beginning with Olivia (4/23), Josh (5/3), Bill (5/6), and Sophie (5/31).

Abby, Josh, my mom and sister Sunny, Sophie and Olivia had a wonderful time celebrating Olivia's 6th birthday Saturday evening at the California Pizza Kitchen in Hollywood. Olivia chose the restaurant. The girls like their brother Josh and are especially attached to Abby. When I was away a couple weekends ago to New York, they requested that Abby take care of them :)

Josh told us all about his life in Thailand and he seems to really love it there.

Abby and Josh got both girls cute kid friendly cameras, among other things. They really loved them. Sophie got Olivia a 'pillow pet', a huge cuddly whale shaped stuffed animal that you could use also as a pillow. Of course Olivia has been carrying it around everywhere.

The highlight of the evening was the presentation of cake Sunny brought. It was a beautiful white cake with fruit top and six long candles. Olivia's wish before blowing out the candles was to grow up fast! How cute is that.. Later she elaborated that she could not wait to get older so that she could become a famous singer and a scientist.

And Shirley, thanks for sending Olivia a birthday card. She read it to herself!

Affter endless negotiations, the girls finally settled on having their joint birthday party at a roller skating rink sometime in May, when they get to invite their friends.

Good night everyone!

hi Abby here,
I would like to thank Kris so much for helping make decisions about my Dad's health with me. I could not handle asking him if he wanted to be brought back in case of another heart failure. I tried bring it up with him alone, and it did not go well. She was able to ask in a very kind clear way and it made all the difference.
Josh and I have been visiting Dad everyday since Josh arrived. The last few days have been very hard for Dad, he seems weak and tired and grouchy. Poor dad! I noticed today his nose is changing to a purplish like his toes and fingers. He's been shaking and not feeling good at all.
 Dede, Russ, and Sara were here today, left a nice card and flowers. thank you!

Greetings from the mountains. Wednesday's post didn't show an option for comments. Maybe I missed it in my techno-bumbling, or maybe you don't want comments on such a critical and personal decision. But where fools rush in, I usually find myself near the front, and so... It seems so fortunate that Bill's mind was clear and sharp on the day you had to ask him his wishes, and Abby and Kris were so brave to ask directly. I doubt many people have such a devoted team in their corner. We can all mark a box on a living will while we're middle-aged and healthy, but attitudes change and much is accommodated later in life. A marked box is so inadequate when making life-and-death decisions concerning a loved one's quality of living at a given moment under individual circumstances.

If the time comes that you want more information from the national kidney organizations on dialysis during hospice (perhaps for future needs), I'll look into it more deeply. I know it is terribly frustrating to hear one thing from Bill's team and another from outside. Clearly, you have to make decisions based on the options that his doctors will allow. And there is no way at this point that Bill could be transported back and forth to a dialysis center every day without putting him in more danger.

Please forgive if you didn't want comments on this. Bravo for staying strong through such hard times.

--Janet

Talking to Bill about choices

So Abby and I met with the palliative care team (two doctors, one social worker, and a minister) at 3p Wed. Josh, who did not want to participate in the discussion, agreed to look after Sophie and Olivia in the waiting room.

At the meeting, the doctors told us that palliative/hospice care meant no feeding tube and no dialysis. They did not believe any nephrologists would sign off on Bill getting in-home dialysis because of dangers associated with doing so. So the only option is to commute to dialysis facility in the community. And the logistics/health risks to Bill would be enormous in this scenario: I live on a second floor. Bill is completely immobile, and often in pain. To move him out of bed into a gurney, gather up all his tubes, carry him down a narrow set of stairs, and unload him in some kind of special chair or bed in the van for the ride will take two men, physically strong and medically trained. To do this on both ends of the trip, several times a week seemed untenable.

It dawned on me that having Bill at home, as long as he receives dialysis, would be too hard for us and too risky for his health. But neither Abby nor I are prepared to discontinue his dialysis, which, the doctors predicted would hasten his death. They predicted that it would be a matter of, at the most, a week or two or three before Bill would slip into unconsciousness and then to death.

We told doctors what we are prepared to do was to not resuscitate him if his heart or lungs stopped working again.

The palliative team thought this was an important decision and produced a pink medical instruction sheet summarizing our desires. The attending signed off on the form and pushed it towards Abby and I for our signature. I could not sign the form right there and then. What if we are making a wrong decision for Bill? We needed to sleep on it at least for one night. To their credit, the team assured us that we could take time to make the decision. They were not ready to discharge Bill from the hospital any time soon anyway, as they felt his condition was still too unstable.

After the hour long meeting, Abby and I concluded that we needed to talk to Bill again about what he wanted to do. But Bill was too wiped out to hold this conversation after a three hour dialysis session so we decided to try again on Thursday.

Around 5p, Andrea Chung, a student of Bill's from a decade ago, came. She flew in from Hong Kong to visit Bill. I love Andrea; I remember that she made a donation honoring Bill when she was at Harvard Business School following graduation from Pomona. She was also a wonderful hostess when Bill and I visited her in Hong Kong in 2004 on our way to adopt Sophie in mainland China.

My sister Sunny also came by. She was eager to find out how our meeting with the doctors went and was happy to hear that Bill was not leaving the hospital anytime soon. While Andrea, Sophie, Olivia and I went out to dinner to a local Thai restaurant called Ocha (this has become our favorite hang out place since Eileen and Lee had taken us there when Betsy was visiting), my sister took my mother to dinner at Ikea (their favorite restaurant). Abby and Josh remained behind to keep Bill company.

I arrived at the hospital in late Thursday afternoon. Abby and Josh were already there. Bill was alert. I thought it was a perfect time to bring up the pink form. Amazingly what Abby and I told the doctors the day before was what Bill exactly wanted: Very clearly he told us he did not want CPR if his heart flatlined again. But he definitely wanted dialysis and tube feeding.

We asked him about his quality of life at the hospital. Remarkably he said he was not unhappy. He also denied feeling miserable. He was not bored. He felt ok about being in the hospital. Both Abby and I felt relieved to hear this.

While the nurse attended to Bill, Abby and I signed off on the pink form.